On their third date, Jaejoong gives Changmin a bottle of sand from the beach, granules both white and black that sparkle when they catch the light.

 

When he meets up with Junsu and Yoochun later, he shows it to them. Most of the lunch, in fact, is spent with Changmin talking about Jaejoong. He goes on and on about how great Jaejoong is and how funny he is and how nice he is and God, he really likes him.

 

“Remember,” Junsu says fondly, reminiscently, “The time when Changmin didn’t talk so much?” He and Yoochun exchange looks and then start laughing simultaneously, effectively cutting him off.

 

As they continue to chat, Changmin holds his bottle up to the fluorescent lamp and marvels at how something so commonplace can seem almost- magical- in the right light. They finish their food and are leaving the restaurant when Junsu catches his arm and says seriously, “I’m happy for you, Min.”

*

There’s a fourth date, a fifth date, and then Changmin stops counting.

 

What he wants more than anything though, is to find the perfect gift for Jaejoong. Because isn’t that what people do when they’re in love? Not to mention, his practical side says, Jaejoong gives him such nice things; the least he can do is return the favor.

 

After spending hours in dusty shops looking through heaps of dubious merchandise, he begins to doubt he’ll find anything. In desperation he even casually asks Jaejoong if he wants anything in particular, but Jaejoong gets a far-off look in his eyes that makes him uneasy, just a bit, and he doesn’t ask him again. Jaejoong doesn’t like to talk about himself, or his past, and Changmin doesn't asks why.

*

Jaejoong asks Changmin to move in with him a month after their initial meeting, and Changmin agrees. The next few days are spent getting to know each other’s personal habits, which is always fun and always dramatic.

 

Jaejoong learns, the hard way, that Changmin tends to talk and/or move in his sleep (he was woken up in the middle of the night by Changmin hitting him repeatedly and saying, “Jaejoong! I’m hungry! Can you make me something?”). Changmin learns that Jaejoong likes to go about the apartment in little or no clothes, until Jaejoong finally consented to put on some boxers so Changmin would stop shrieking every time he saw him. Jaejoong hides all of Changmin’s shirts to compensate, but Changmin manages to write ‘Changmin is the greatest person alive and I think you should worship him’ on Jaejoong’s favorite beanie.

 

Then, Changmin invites Junsu and Yoochun over, since Jaejoong has been curious to see who exactly would be friends with him.

 

“What did you do, beat them up to make them like you?” Jaejoong jokes, and laughs when Changmin retorts, “At least I have friends!”

 

When they arrive, Junsu immediately demands a tour of the apartment, and Changmin shows him each of the rooms.

 

“Here’s our bedroom . . . stop smiling, Junsu. Don’t be creepy, hyung.”

 

“What? I just think it’s cute how little baby Min is all grown up now. I can just imagine what you guys do in this room. And to think, you used to be so innocent.”

 

“ . . . I hate you.”

 

When they circle back to the living room, Changmin sees Yoochun talking to Jaejoong. There’s a serious expression on both their faces, but Jaejoong spots them and stands with a smile. Yoochun gets up as well and walks over to Junsu, slinging an arm around his shoulder.

 

“Sorry we can’t stay for dinner,” Yoochun apologizes. “Junsu’s got some work he needs to finish up, and I promised to keep him company.”

 

They leave with promises to hang out again some time. Yoochun pauses by Changmin for a second, hesitating, as if he wants to say something, but instead nods and waves goodbye; Junsu gives him a quick hug, and the two leave.

 

“What was that all about?” Changmin comments when they’re gone. Jaejoong turns to him, inquiringly, and Changmin gestures to the door. “You. Yoochun.” He pauses. “That wasn’t awkward to you?”

 

Jaejoong shrugs, leaning against Changmin. “Fifteen minutes until dinner,” he suggests, breath warm on his face. Yeah, okay, he thinks, and lets Jaejoong pull him down, forgets about everything else.

*

One day, as he’s walking to the supermarket to pick up some groceries for the dinner Jaejoong promises to make him, Changmin spots him standing by a nearby bookstore. At first he's just surprised. He's even about to go up to Jaejoong, maybe even scare him, but something stops him- because it looks like Jaejoong’s waiting for someone, and that someone is not him. He feels a cold chill down his spine, but resolutely pushes it down. He reasons with himself. It's stupid to be suspicious. He has no reason to be, really. Surely, surely there are hundreds of people who would meet Jaejoong, all with innocent motives. Lists of any clients and coworkers and friends he's ever had run through Changmin's mind, as if his brain is trying to tell him to get out of there, to save himself from what he might see.

 

But he can’t make himself move, and when a tall, slim man goes up to Jaejoong, Changmin can only watch as Jaejoong throws himself at him, and then they kiss, a long, movie style kiss with fireworks and a love song playing in the background.

 

Changmin can almost hear his heart break.

 

He turns around, abruptly, and runs as fast as he can back to their apartment, up their stairs, into their room where he locks the door and slides to the floor and then- he cries.